MISSIONARY KIDS MATTER

Sophia, Caleb, Ethan, Ruth, and Timothy Jenkins

All parents dream of their children doing better than themselves.   Can they run faster than me?   Get better grades than me?    Provide more leadership than me?   Make more friends than me?   Have more influence me?   Be more Christ like than me?

For missionary families these concerns are very prevalent.   Will taking our children overseas for years have lasting negative effects?   (However, much research shows just the opposite.)

Yet, another fear is what if my children suffer in a way I can only imagine?  And what if they suffer due to misunderstanding and prejudice?   Yet in their suffering can they find a way to preserve their dignity?

I have five different children with two basic skin colors - what the world calls black and white.

One of the most enraging moments for a parent is when I discover my children with black skin are unfairly judged.  A few times it has happened in such an ambiguous way that I can’t find a clear and reasonable way to address the offense so I just walk away.

A few times my children with black skin have been the subjects of prejudice when I was not near them.   They would keep the offense inside them for years, and only much later share the pain.   I would be enraged, but time and physical distance made addressing the offense impossible.

Yet there are even more subtle forms of prejudice that all my children face.    God in His infinite wisdom spoke against this more subtle but just as destructive form of prejudice.   This is the prejudice of group think against those who seem to have more economic resources (Exodus 23:2, 3; Leviticus 19:14.)

The marketing photos of poor African children by nonprofit organizations strip many of their dignity.    They strip the poor of their dignity because it subtly communicates perpetual victimhood.   They also strip the middle class of their dignity because these photos subtly label Africa’s middle class as exploiters of the poor.   Lastly, I’ve seen these marketing tools strip missionary kids of their dignity by subtly telling missionary kids they don’t matter.

I disagree with these prejudices.

Allow me to tell several stories.   My family are “faith missionaries” which means we have no guaranteed salary.   We live on the free will donations of churches, friends, and family.   We trust God for our daily bread.    We’ve seen God do the miraculous.   Yet, we’ve also seen why in the Old Testament law the Year of Jubilee was instituted (Leviticus 25.)   Sometimes God’s people don’t display the mercy and justice of God.   The community suffers until the out of the ordinary happens.  

We ministered for 19 years in nations that some would define as the economically poorest countries of the world.    While at times we’ve been struggling to pay our bills we’ve ran scholarship programs for vulnerable children.    

A multiple of times when my children were too young to understand what was happening I would be on furlough speaking in a local church.    Someone would ask about our kid’s education.   I’d explain the choices we were making and the costs of educating missionary children.   Another would ask a question about our sponsorship programs.   I would hope that donations would be given to both.   Instead, people would say, “We want our donation designated for the sponsorship program.   You will have to look somewhere else for your needs.”  Then they would write a designated check.   I would drive away from the meeting with checks, but not enough flexibility in the donations to pay for my travel expenses.    

Sophia and Doreen Rwigamba at Rugezi Wetland, Rwanda

Three years ago our family was in a situation much like the needs of Israel for a Jubilee.    We were in a hole due to medical expenses and a drop in funding.    We were doing a ROC reception to hopefully discover the financial resources to start afresh.     We were discussing Kigali International Community School (KICS).   In the discussion the conversation moved to the need for missionary children education.   My oldest daughter, Sophia was in the reception.

A wealthy donor began to ask critical questions.   We attempted to answer.   His tone moved from critical to a recycling of the issues God addressed in Exodus 23:2, 3; and Leviticus 19:14.   He used sophisticated language, but he was encouraging group think against Africa’s middle class and missionary kids.    His arguments focused on what percentage of the gifts went to the poorest of the poor, and that he did not want to see his gifts go to “administrative fees, nor expatriate life styles.”   My blood boiled.   I doubt his children ever suffered with malaria.   I doubt his children were ever bit by dogs or monkeys.   I doubt he ever carried his children on his shoulders and ran away from gunfire.    Sophia cried.   Then Sophia spoke.

Joseph, Mary, and Jesus going in refuge in Egypt

She offered no defense of our family.   Instead, she did what second generation missionaries do best.   She told the story of Rwanda’s returning Diaspora and their children.    She told the stories of her people.

She said, “Yes, I go to school with missionary kids and Rwandan middle class kids.   The Rwandan kids sleep in homes with running water and electricity.   Their parents drive cars.   They look wealthy.   What you don’t know is their parents grew up in refugee camps.   Then they in their own words, “Got lucky.”   They received an education.   They developed professional skill.   Rwanda became peaceful.   They came home.    Their parents work very long hours.   An entire nation’s future rides on their shoulders.    They did not have to come home.   In fact, many complain about brain drain.   If you want to stop brain drain don’t argue with the middle class.   Their kids need a good school.   Should that school not be one where the class sizes are small?    Should that school not be one where God is honored?  Why do we want schools like this in America, but argue against them in Africa?”

She hit the nail on the head.   The donor was conditioned by photos of the poor to be prejudiced.   The prejudice was more subtle than simply race.   It was the prejudice against professional skill and an economic class.

Alexis and Grace Hixson, Ruth, Imfra Mwunvaneza, and Kassidy and Natalie Shreck

The donor realized his offense and thankfully apologized.  He realized missionary kids matter.     They deserve good schools.   They’ve missed out on many things.     Yet, God has done remarkable things in their lives.    In fact, their parents and their host nation know this well – Missionary kids will do far more good than their parents.   God is preparing them.

So this Christmas season as you prepare to make a year end gift I request that you look at the options, and simply say, “Missionary kids matter.”

NEW START PRAYERS

Dear prayerful friends and family,


One of our convictions is that we live in the Acts 29 season of eternity.   Acts 28 closes with an awkward ending.   Paul is under Roman house arrest preaching the Gospel.   What happens next?  Is he released?   What fruit is born from his preaching?   We can conjecture from Paul’s letters, but we think the Holy Spirit leaves us with a clear point.   There will be seasons of mystery.   The task is unfinished.   Thus we pray.   Thus we preach.   Thus we wait in hope.


During this season in which we answered a call of God to return to the United States to serve the Diaspora of Africa’s Great Lakes we have repeatedly read Luke and Acts.   (For review of who are the Diaspora see http://jenkinsinrwanda.blogspot.com/2012/11/pray-for-diaspora-of-africas-great-lakes.html.)   In this reading we find great similarity to our entering of Chicago, and Paul entering Corinth (Acts 18.)  

Our community is convinced we have been called to another continent just as Paul’s team was convinced of the Macedonian Call in Acts 16.


Yet, like Paul our financial support is declining and we are practically without a team of colleagues and friends in close proximity (Acts 18 – Paul in Corinth.)   

However, we sense just like Paul the Lord is speaking to us in Chicago,

“Do not be afraid, but keep on speaking and do not give up, for I am with you. No one will be able to harm you, for many in this city are my people.” (Acts 18:9-10. Good News Translation.)”

This month we request you pray as Paul’s team likely prayed for him as he entered Corinth:

1.  Pray that we’ll find new friends like Aquila and Priscilla:  Those with whom we share a similar cultural and faith understanding.  Those with whom we can find a common way to make a living.   Those with whom we can mentor and nurture into a new ministry.

2.   Pray that like Paul we’ll be joined by those like Silas and Timothy who can lighten our load as the forming community needs us to teach and shepherd more.

3.   Pray that like Paul we’ll find good soil in the hearts of people such as Titius Justus and Crispus who can share living and leading with us.

Thank you for your prayers that sustain our family and ministry,

Mungu akubariki (God bless you),

Dave and Jana

P.S. For more reading on what life is like as missionary to the Diaspora of Africa’s Great Lakes in Chicago check out: http://jenkinsinrwanda.blogspot.com/2012/11/everything-i-needed-to-know-about.html.

P.S.S. For more reading on the shifts in contemporary missions discussions check out: http://jenkinsinrwanda.blogspot.com/2012/11/why-puzzle-in-contemporary-missions.html

MEMORIAL FOR MAJOR EUSTACHE NSINGA

The word of God in James 4:14 proclaims, “What is your life? You are a mist that appears a little while and then vanishes.” Eustache Nsinga has passed from this life to another far too quickly. Most of us are still in shock. This seems unbelievable.

Eustache Nsinga was born on 4 August 1973 to Emmanuel Basomingera and Marianne Mukasarambuye in Bujumbura, Burundi. He passed from this life to another on Christmas Eve, 24 December 2011 in Kigali. That day will remain unforgettable in all of our lives.
On Christmas Eve 2011 I was performing the Christmas Eve Service at Christ’s Church in Rwanda (CCR) when I was asked to step outside of the assembly for an urgent matter. Gatete, Eustache’s housekeeper came with the news that Eustache Nsinga had passed from this life to another. I thought, “Surely not. This must be an ugly rumor or a big misunderstanding.” I returned to the assembly and sat with my wife, Jana; and told her, “There is an awful rumor going around that Eustache Nsinga has died.”

Then my phone rang. I rarely pick up a phone call during church, but as I looked down I saw it was from Eustache. I stepped out and answered the phone expecting to hear Eustache’s voice. Instead it was his brother, Innocent confirming the news. Eustache has passed from this life to another.

I imagine I am not the only one who has felt shock over this Christmas season.

This morning as I checked emails I received one from a relative of Eustache in Canada. She had seen the dialogue on Facebook and thought this was just a really bad joke. She wrote asking, “Pastor, tell me what is true.”

It is true. Eustache Nsinga has passed from this life to another.

Another word besides unforgettable fills our discussion of Eustache’s passing. That word is irreplaceable. How can we face life without Eustache? A man’s days on this earth are fleeting. We are all just a mist. Yet, the principles of a man’s life endure. There are principles those of us a bit older teach to younger generations.

Many of you are fortunate to have known Eustache longer than the 5 years I knew Eustache. In my interactions with Eustache there were 4 principles in his life that are enduring characteristics. These 4 principles are the substance which makes the memories of Eustache irreplaceable.

The first principle I remember from Eustache’s life is justice and equality. Eustache befriended me in the early days as we started CCR a little over 4 years ago. From the beginning he never treated me different from others due to the color of my skin. He made me feel as at home in Rwanda as I would feel in the village in the United States where my parents live.

God’s word proclaims in Leviticus 19:33-35, "When a foreigner lives with you in your land, don't take advantage of him. Treat the foreigner the same as a native. Love him like one of your own. Remember that you were once foreigners in Egypt. I am God, your God”. Eustache lived this principle.

When I asked him why he was so kind and treated people with equality he told stories. One was of his early years as a refugee in Burundi. Another was his early days as a student at La Roche University in America. I remember him telling me of traveling to the United States when French and Kinyarwanda were his preferred languages and his English skills were just beginning. He told me of going to the university cafeteria, looking at food, and struggling to explain what he wanted to eat. Those memories stayed with Eustache and empowered him to treat others with kindness and equality.

The second enduring principle of Eustache Nsinga’s life was his faithfulness to his covenants. God’s word proclaims, “Understand, therefore, that the Lord your God is indeed God. He is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and lavishes his unfailing love on those who love him and obey his commands. (Deuteronomy 7:9.) …. If you listen to these regulations and faithfully obey them, the Lord your God will keep his covenant of unfailing love with you, as he promised with an oath to your ancestors. (Deuteronomy 7:12.)”

In my early years in Rwanda I was fortunate to be part of a small project called the Presidential Scholars that helped some of Rwanda’s best young academic minds study in the USA. The program has grown to over 300 students and Eustache was one of our key early advisors. He shared with me his story of attending La Roche College and upon graduation being one of the few to return to Rwanda while others just disappeared in America. Eustache was faithful to his covenants. He loved Rwanda and could not imagine breaking faith with his covenant to return. As years passed he pointed out that those who thought they had found a better path through broken covenants had become irrelevant while his faithfulness was rewarded.

What gave Eustache the ability to persevere and keep his covenants?

Two more enduring principles of Eustache’s life stand out. The third enduring principle of Eustache’s life is joy. God’s word proclaims, “So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy. (John 16:22.)” This is the joy we speak of today. Loss of life on this earth does not endure. Another day is coming. On that day we will rejoice. Our joy cannot be contained by the circumstances of today.

That joy is given by the fourth enduring principle of Eustache’s life, hope. “And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. (Romans 5:4.)” Eustache’s character was one that could endure great difficulties confident in eternal hope.

As we say goodbye to Eustache from this earth some questions come to mind. His death was far too early. He had given much and still had much to give. He was young. He was talented. His dreams for Rwanda had not yet come to pass.

Why this tragic and sudden loss? Death is not God’s intention. His intent is to bring us full and abundant life (John 1:4; 3:15-17; 6:40; 10:10). In the beginning as God created the earth everything He created was good (Genesis 1:4, 10, 12, 18, 21, 25, 31). Sickness, death, and suffering were not God’s intent. Death entered into the world as a consequence of sin (Romans 5:12-20). With the entrance of sin into our world everything changed. Yet, God knew this would be the story. He knew that the world and people He created would betray Him. The only way to restore creation to God’s intent was for Him to offer His son to die in our place. God made this choose before the beginning of time. He was a Redeemer before He was a Creator (Ephesians 1:4, 5). The illustration of God’s love is one of an Adoptive Father rescuing an abandoned child (Ezekiel 16:4-6). This is what God has done for all of us.

Where is this going? We will go to Eustache (2 Samuel 12:23). He will not return to us. King David as he grieved for his sick son stopped his grief when the son died. He recognized in the passing of life that now the season had come in which he would go to his passed son. We are now in that season. We will go to Eustache.

Some may ask, “Where is God when we suffer? He is not distant. He sees our grief and is filled with compassion (John 11:33-35). The stories of Jesus in the New Testament use an English word that is translated compassion. Those of us that speak several languages know that sometimes there is a word in one language that cannot be adequately translated to another. Splaxna is the Greek word usually translated “compassion” in English bibles. It literally means that when Jesus sees another suffering it made him hurt inside. Jesus literally felt “shaky guts.” This is part of being human created in the image of God. We feel one another’s pain. Then as we go to them and physically touch them we are physically healed.

We experienced that the last few days. The news of Eustache’s death was shocking. It left us confused and disorientated. It made us physically in pain. Then as we met and embraced we were comforted and healed.

I have a small genetic misfortune. My dad, brothers, and uncles all have portions of the cartilage in our spines that will deteriorate. As the cartilage collapses it causes severe pain that radiates down our legs and arms. I have had 4 seasons in which this pain came to my life. During the first season I was very angry with God. Yet, a friend told me is it ok to be angry with God. He is a big enough God to receive the anger. In the midst of the anger God healed my spirit.

The last time I experienced this pain just before I went into surgery I saw a phone call coming into my mobile phone. It was Eustache Nsinga calling to encourage me. He was like Jesus to me. He had lived through pain. He knew what it was like to suffer. He came close to encourage and suffered with me. In the process I found courage and hope.

Ultimately, Jesus answers the question of where is God when we suffer by his death upon the cross. Our sin has caused great suffering. On the cross the consequences of sin are taken away (Hebrews 2:17-18).

What can we expect? The Resurrection is coming. Let me close by reading God’s word.

“Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die (John 11:25).”

“For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him (1 Thessalonians 4:14).”

“And I will pray the Father, and He shall give you another Comforter, that He may abide with you forever (John 14:16).”

PASTORAL REFLECTIONS ON PROSTITUTES AND RELIGIOUS CONMEN

Prostitutes and religious conmen hear me well. I am not a loaf of bread. I am husband. I am a father. I am a pastor. I am a runner. I notice that some choose to follow me. Some are seekers. Some are children. Some are prostitutes. Some are religious conmen. I am amazed at the similarities between prostitutes and religious conmen. I see they suffer from the same root causes. For the seekers and children, I know where you can find life giving bread. I hope we can find a shared answer.

I live in Kimihurura between the Papyrus Restaurant and Cadillac Night Club. Between 9:00 p.m. and 6:00 a.m. on Friday and Saturday nights I see women who appear to be prostitutes outside my home. They are scantily dressed. My Saturday morning usually starts with a run. My Sunday morning usually starts with leaving home early to prepare for worship at CCR. Many times, I have short conversation with the women who appear to be prostitutes. They call me sweet names, try to initiate conversations, and some even try to touch me. I am 44 years old. I have never been described as handsome. I have a bad back, five kids, and a missionary salary. A young scantily dressed attractive woman who has a romantic interest in me is either mentally deranged or a prostitute. I am a husband. I am a father. I am a pastor. I am a runner. I am not a loaf of bread. When a prostitute calls me, I keep running. They leave me after less than 100 meters.

I am a Muzungu. I at times appear to have money. I sometimes attract religious conmen. They find me at all hours of the day and a multiple of times per week. Their dress is either immaculate or shabby. They try to make me either feel sorry for them, or be amazed by their spiritual power. I have learned not to trust them. However, some of my Bazungu friends will listen to their stories. They speak sweet Kilokole. However, like the prostitute they only see me as a loaf of bread. When the religious conman calls me I keep running. I am not a loaf of bread. They leave me after a few pastoral running strides.

On my morning runs sometimes the children of Kigali choose to join me. We run together. They make me laugh. They seem to know who I am. Sometimes, they chant, “Jesus,” or, “Imana ishimwe.” They follow me kilometer after kilometer. They make me a better runner. They enjoy my friendship and seem to know I seek the bread of life.

At Sunday mornings at CCR and throughout the week, seekers choose to join me. We pray together. We share. We laugh. We cry. Sometimes, we dance. They find my failings and still follow me kilometer after kilometer. They make me a better pastor. They enjoy my friendship and seem to know I seek the bread of life.

As the children join me on a run I notice some are girls. I wonder if the prostitutes who follow me for a few meters once were little girls who shared a run with me for kilometers. Something went terribly wrong.

As the seekers join me for prayer I notice some are hurting. I wonder if the religious conmen who follow me for a few meters were once honest seekers who shared life with me. Something went terribly wrong.

I don’t like prostitutes or religious conmen. I don’t like being treated like a loaf of bread. However, I find that both suffer from the same disease. Prostitutes and religious conmen thrive in a world of non-literacy and poverty. In a way they are victims.

I do enjoy children and seekers. I think they follow me for the much the same reasons. We both seek friendship and the bread of life. Life may have struggle, but we refuse to be victims. We thrive in a world full of love, hope, and joy.

Prostitutes economically thrive by finding those who are sexually unfulfilled. Religious conmen economically thrive by finding those who are emotionally unfilled. I find the prostitute’s and religious conmen’s clients to be more repulsive than the prostitutes or religious conmen. Some like to rant at prostitutes and religious conmen. Some intend to police them out of existence. However, let me propose a few solutions to make Kigali a more pleasant city. Let us build schools and businesses. Let us build a literate and wealthy population. There will always be a portion of our city that is poor. However, let us make the options of prostitution and religious conmen much less financially advantageous.

Next, let us find a way to police the financiers of prostitutes and religious conmen. If we dry up the money the prostitutes and religious conmen will go somewhere else. Maybe, we would be well served to run internet photos of both prostitute’s clients and religious conmen’s financier with a short story?

Prostitutes and religious conmen, I feel mercy for your situation. However, I am not a loaf of bread.

Children and seekers; let us continue to run. Together we can find the bread of life.

WHERE IS HER TOOTH?

If you have functional eyes in Kigali you have seen the latest condom advert. A beautiful young couple gazes at you. She holds a condom in her hand. The message states clearly, “PROTECT YOUR LIFE WITH A CONDOM. PROTECTING ONESELF AND OTHERS AGAINST HIV/AIDS IS EVERYONE’S RESPONSIBILITY. I CHOOSE TO USE CONDOMS; WHAT ABOUT YOU?”

Ministry of Health, The Global Fund, and the Rwanda Health Communication Center; thank you for your message. Besides protecting life you gave me hours worth of delightful discussions on university campuses. We conclude that of all that exists on this earth the supreme value is life. Therefore, our taxes are well served by messages that save life.

However, there are other lesser values. Three quickly come to mind – beauty, dignity, and love. These are the substance that our grandparents hungered for when they counseled us to save our sexuality for marriage. The bzee really were wise. You see in the condom advert reality is shown. The young woman is missing a tooth. Something happened. Let me share my best pastoral guess. The following story is no specific individual’s, but the collection of 26 years of pastorally listening to young couples.

The young woman grew up in a home without a father, uncle, or older brother. Her mom and sisters were good people. However, they were vulnerable. As a little girl she watched her friends with fathers, and she hungered for a man to provide, protect, and nurture her. When she was in secondary school she discovered her beauty. She found that by offering her body to a young man she could have intimacy. She had several boyfriends. However, the sexuality was always clumsy, awkward, and a bit shameful. The relationships all ended with bitterness. When she visited with her girlfriends about her old boyfriends, she used the word, “a#+*>@^!!” to describe them.

The young man grew up the first born son of a polygamous father. Initially, he carried all the family hopes. However, his dad found other women besides his mother. In the end he became the forgotten son. Before his dad left he watched his parents argue. The argument ended when his dad slapped his mom and walked out of the home for the last time. He told himself he would never do that to a woman. He wrestled inside with seeking a complete family. In secondary school he thrived as he was clever, handsome, athletic, and sociable. He had several girlfriends. Like the young woman the sexuality was clumsy, awkward, and a bit shameful. Also, like her the relationships all ended with bitterness. When he visited with his boyfriends about his old girlfriends, he used the word, “b#+*>@^!!” to describe them.

Our young couple met at university. They both did well at university. Her beauty made every young man notice her when she entered a room. His athleticism and charisma had the same effect on young women. They spent 3 years exploring relationships, having fun, growing their minds; but still having sexual relationships that ended in bitterness. Then they started dating and found new hope.

Jesus meeting a woman in Samaria who lived with 6 different men (John 4)

Last year, Minister Murigande gave them an unintended and regrettable gift. The living bursary was removed. With their dysfunctional family backgrounds they had no extended family to help. Both found casual jobs, but could not quite make enough to live. Then they had the idea of their life. If they lived in the same room they could save money and be almost like the family for which they hungered. Their families were too removed to care. They had not been in church for years. Their friends cheered for them. With free condoms on campus she could avoid pregnancy, and both of them would have no risk of a sexually transmitted disease.

For one month, they had the time of their lives. By living together their shame and sexual secrets disappeared. They slept, bathed, and ate together. They had the best sex of their lives frequently. They lived simple, but they were not hungry. Their friends noticed how often they were gathering the condoms at the distributors, and were exceedingly jealous. She was not pregnant. Neither of them had a sexually transmitted disease. Graduation was coming shortly and their lives were full of hope.

Then all changed. One day she did poorly on an exam while he lost his casual job. When they came home their attempts to console one another had just the opposite effects. Their relationship was full of youthful passion. Now the passion stirred the opposite way. They argued. They blamed one another. They called one another names. Finally, he had his limit. No woman would speak to him with that level of disrespect. He slapped her in the mouth. As soon as his hand hit her mouth out flew a tooth and blood. He had never seen the effect of his strength used in violence. All stopped. She cried. He felt guilt beyond measure. He had just done what he had promised his mother never to do. In the quiet moment, they gathered their remaining francs. They went to a clinic on the other side of town hoping no one they knew would see them. Their shame remained. She was not pregnant. Neither of them had a sexually transmitted disease. She no longer had a tooth.

What were they to do? A thin piece of plastic protects one from unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. It protects life. However, it offers no protection for beauty, dignity, and love. Those values were now fleeting. Beauty, dignity, and love were what they hungered for.

Kigali’s most recent condom ad got it right. A sexual relationship without a covenant made in community frequently  leads to violence. This is what our grandparents knew and why they counseled us in ages past to wait.

However, Rwanda has another story. Though she is a young nation she has bzee. There are those who have wisdom to balance forgiveness with accountability. This young couple needs to do what they have not done in years. Their life still can have hope. It is time for them to visit the gray haired unorthodox professor who calls his past student’s friends. It is time to go to church and be the last to leave as they seek a pastor’s counsel. The bzee are here. Though her tooth is gone, hope is not lost.